Being Seen and Heard

When I think about humans with disabilities I wonder what keeps them happy. I’ve observed that often humans are just being first. It isn’t until they interact with humans outside of themselves that our differences are scrutinized. I keep a place in my mind body and spirit to care for humans with disabilities. I keep a place that is judgment free for my children with autism. I keep a place that is filled with love so that my girls feel free to be their best. Humans with disabilities face misunderstanding, miscommunication, and misrepresentation in the world daily.

In serving my beloved community of humans with disabilities I’m putting myself in position to advocate for their health happiness and prosperity. I’ve warmed myself up to speaking up for others by using this blog. I’m glad I started this with all of my imperfections. I didn’t know that I had over 20 blog posts to share about being a human mother to children with autism. My next move is to share my voice using podcasts. I’m creating a space for humans with disabilities and the people who love them to know that their entire life matters in this universe. My children with autism make my world an awesome place for me. They are amazing beautiful beings that add value to my life. That is something you would have to see to experience. So I will show you. I’ll show you some of the things we do that helps us enjoy living our best life. I’ll show you how we keep moving forward when situations become hard to see through.

My responsibility is unfolding before my eyes. The love I have for my children with autism is giving me clarity. It’s a pleasure to keep learning who I am while learning how to give them what they need to succeed. There are people with disabilities that are whole human beings. They need to be seen and heard. The people that love them need to be seen and heard as well. Podcast and Video Series is next for me. I’m thankful for coming this far. I’m ready to be the vessel that I am. Next week I’m bringing it!

A Passion for Teaching

While living in this new world of Covid19 I found a passion for teaching my children with autism. School started for my girls August 17. Two girls are middle schoolers and one is a high schooler. They attend school online now. It is not working for us as a family. I had a hard time getting all three girls on the school schedule. There are 3 start times that stagger on top of each other. One teacher wants to meet at 8 in the morning. Another teacher wants to meet at 9:30 and the other at 10. Its noted in their schedule that morning work last 15 to 30 minutes. So I’ve had a huge scheduling conflict due to the fact that my girls can not do online work independently.

Speaking of conflicting schedules, I am building my life to care for myself and my family first. I’m managing a new work schedule now that I am assisting my friend with her business. Homelessness, Autism and Kidney Disease have taught my family and I that Health and Wellness is our first priority. Exercise and healthy eating is a class all by itself that I manage for everyone in my family. As the leader in this family I hold that torch and if I backslide or fail to give our health attention my whole family is impacted.

I enjoy teaching my children life skills. I loved it when the girls went to an actual school location. But we were missing attention on what a human must do to prepare for school. It’s great that we can focus on what matters most and make it fun. I get to chart their progress based on their responsibility first.

I’ve made the time to teach my children when I realized school was done for the year in the early spring. I’ve homeschooled my children for the summer since we left New York 8 years ago. I homeschooled out of necessity in the past. My girls don’t want to be idle. With their autism the girls energy can be turned into a mess that they learn from. Now that Covid19 has put me in a position to be the sole provider of their education I’m focused. Homeschooling is a way of life. I’m the teacher and I love it. This is one of the best decisions I’ve made with my life. I get to add my loving touch to enrich my children’s lives. I’m giving them every lesson I can from now on. I discovered a love for teaching my girls and there is no turning back. My involvement with their education is the best its ever been. I’m turning this opportunity into something AUSOME.

I Need A Breakthrough

Well Well Well. I enjoy fresh starts and this week is a sign of new beginnings. My beautiful family and I are due for a breakthrough after the heavy load we carried this far. I personally have called for a good change of events to occur for us. I want relief from caring for my 3 teenagers with autism and staying at hotels. I want a Home for us.

Not having the space to give my girls the extra help that they need has been stressful to me. I have suffered mental anxiety being rejected for apartments and houses. I feel the pressure to move fast because my Husband needs to be on the Kidney Donor list. One of the requirements for the list is having a stable home to care for himself and heal. A hotel doesn’t count as a Home. My children are still considered homeless at their schools.

I’ve suffered from shame as I got rejected from shelters and housing programs. I spent good time and energy hunting for affordable housing to be told the waiting lists aren’t open. I’ve chased every lead to no end. I’d gas up my van and turn on my optimism to ensure I got approved.

Some of the worst feelings come up for me when people I’m close to don’t understand. When others assume I did something wrong because something wrong happened to me it hurts. I want the space and freedom to transform my hurt, anxiety, and shame. I need a vacation. I simply need restoration to continue my service to my family.

I’ve been neck deep in responsibility to my family without a Home and without the income we need. The fresh start is possible. I know I’m worth it. I know my family is worthy. Can we please get a break? You are welcome to support me in getting a moment of mental and physical relief. I started a gofund me account after our only means of transportation broke down yesterday. I just put my hands up and decided to ask for what I need. My goal is to raise 50000 dollars this month. My family and I will use those funds to get permanent housing and get reliable transportation. Everything will be used to provide my children with the support they need to communicate to other people.

I’m so determined to make great changes for my family. I know we’re getting the fresh start we need because I’m creating it. I trust my work more than I trust my feelings. Please click the link below to make a donation. I appreciate you. Thank you for reading.

Psychological Evaluation

Being an Ausome Mom means testing and testing and more testing. With all three of my children being nonverbal I am their voice when its time to answer questions. Psychological Evaluations have been a staple of information from medical professionals to teacher’s and therapist. Everyone offering my children services wants to see their evaluation results. Here in Georgia my children haven’t been able to receive some necessary services and benefits without it. My oldest daughter had a challenging school year that just past. The school here in Georgia couldn’t get a copy of her evaluation from North Carolina. No matter how many times I spoke with the intake representative from the DBDDH, no one could help my family move forward without this document. I don’t have any original documents for the girls now. Our family lost our paper belongings as a result of moving in poverty. I had everything together in our file folders. I organized each child’s papers with labels. I had every report since they were babies. Since they were diagnosed with their disabilities, I kept everything they needed. Looking back I did a great job keeping them organized and in school even when I myself didn’t have stability.

Now I made a few calls before I could find the Georgia Autism Center. When I spoke with the receptionist I knew in my spirit that we were in good hands. I am familiar with psychological evaluations. I’ve done them 30 times with all 3 children. But it had been a few years since the last ones so I know this was needed. The visit went well. My children were comfortable the staff was helpful and understanding. I surprised myself when the psychologist asked what are some of the factors that have impacted my children’s well being. My Husband and I decided to tell the truth. Homelessness has been a struggle for us. The girls used to have such a nurturing school environment that we could mask all of the other shortcomings as a family. We have been through the shelter in New York two times. Again I put their education first and foremost. I kept our family busy with cultural and recreation activities. My children took music lessons. We were members of a sensory gym in Brooklyn on the weekends. We didn’t make excuses for our situation or for our children. I don’t deny my responsibility in my hardships with my family. I no longer deny the factors that racism has left in regards to redlining in every state I’ve lived in. I won’t deny the truth for the sake of truth. As I shared the girls experience with the psychologist I found out that we weren’t hallucinating. The weight had been lifted. Now my family path seemed to get clear. I felt that we could stop chasing home in the mist of an illusion. We can create a good life and home for our family. That is all I have to say about that.

Thank you for reading.

Chasing Home

My Husband just gave me a reminder that feeling nervous when looking for a home is natural. My whole life I’ve been searching for that perfect space to call my own. Since we’ve become a family home is more essential. But my Husband let me know that I can move forward with assurance when searching for a place to live. 

In order to calm my nerves before I make phone calls, send out emails, and open my credit up for judgment I did some vision work. I’ll admit it was very difficult to quiet the rest of the world’s expectations in my head. The thought of my children having a place to study and learn more life skills is what set my mind right. I can see the girls at their work station doing school work. I can see the space set up for the girls homeschooling. I can see therapist making themselves comfortable while giving the girls treatment. Then I saw my Husband getting at home dialysis treatment while he is waiting for a new kidney.

Then I felt my energy increase after my vision work. My health and my family health come first. Isn’t that the greatest gift that home provides? When I think of home, health and happiness come to mind. This is different from the worry that I fed myself this past week. I was doubtful that my family and I could live in a decent place given our circumstances. But there is a different mind state leading my family now. We are worthy of a Home full of love with plenty of room for mental and spiritual growth. We are worthy of a Home where 3 teens with autism will receive the best education. We are worthy of a Home where my whole family can live a healthy lifestyle.

I’m not Chasing Home anymore. I’m doing the work necessary for us to have a home. Now I can lay all those worries to rest. I’ll keep you posted.

3 Faces, 3 Businesses, 3 Girls

Let’s say I have 3 faces. Is that too out of this world? Being the Mother of 3 girls gives me 3 different parts of me. So why can’t I have 3 faces? I don’t mean faces I mean business. Each business represents my children in some way. Having my Trinity of daughters made me fall in love with the number 3.

The first business I am is my Family Business. An Ausome Place To Be Learning Center LLC is our family business. I’m laying the foundation now for my children to be wealthy adults with disabilities. When you truly understand wealth this is a powerful affirmation to make for my children. I look forward to the community advocacy that I will be doing although this is new to me. I look forward to getting a physical location within the year. The vision of the Ausome Place includes a customized space for children and families with disabilities. This business is the vessel for my service to the special needs community. I’ll share more of this journey as I complete each milestone. I am feeding the community organizer leader and teacher inside of me with An Ausome Place To Be.

3 Faces

My second face of business is my salon owner self. I’ve worked as the desk manager and then natural hair specialist at a very prestigious salon in New York City. I received a thorough training on how to provide the best natural hair care services. The favorite part of being a salon owner will be to provide a transformation in mind and hair for the clients that will be served. I’m providing the gift of beauty and health to those who need it. Being a natural hair stylist is a skill that I enjoy sharing. I have to get my finances up to own the salon space. This may take more time for me to manifest but I am happy to serve my family and friends with my creativity and personal care.

My third face of business is the author. I have written books starting between 8 and 9 years age. I began this blogging journey for myself and my 3 girls that are nonverbal. My children don’t communicate using words. I’m opening my mind to share thoughts feelings ideas and stories as a writer. This is the least that I am committed to on my children behalf. I am holding the space that they will find their voices. They will have a system of communication that supports their independence. My most important writing project I’m working on now is a book about my life. I’m doing it. I’m writing my experience on this Earth and it’s amazing and scary at the same time. My Birthday is in October and I will have my book published and on sale before then.

How do moms of special needs children manage to live a healthy and fulfilling life? We open ourselves up to great things happening. Anything is possible like my children when they had to learn to eat clean and care for themselves. I look at my girls today and they have overcome my expectations. I stand for all of the things that they CAN do. So if each of my 3 children is able to push past their disabilities I can give the impossible things a try. Thank you for supporting my 3 faces. #AutismMom #SpecialNeedsFamily #AnAusomePlaceToBe

You Belong In The Driver’s Seat

I’ve eaten a lot of Chinese food recently. I let go of some of my ignorance to enjoy someone else’s cooking for a change. The pandemic got to me and I was paranoid about everything in life. A few days ago I picked up a fortune cookie while cleaning up. The fortune said “you belong in the driver’s seat.”

Well well well. Speak to me Lord! I belong in the drivers seat. I own this message. I am in the driver’s seat of my life. I’m steering myself into a healthy body. I’m putting my mind in the highest space to think good thoughts.

As an Ausome Mom You Belong In The Driver’s Seat. This is the message that I heard coming from the fortune cookie. Every single hardship that comes from the symptoms of autism will not take me out of my seat. I know I don’t control everything. I just control me. I control my choices. I choose to accept my responsibility to my children. A part of my purpose is to love and nurture people with disabilities. I choose this path. I am in servitude to the Special Needs community.

I am where I belong. I needed a sign to help me keep moving forward. I am creating the new normal for our young people with disabilities. I am making it normal to know and love people with disabilities. I am making their presence in our communities normal. I am making special education normal. I am in the driver’s seat right where I belong. Here on this planet is the destination for 3 growing young brown ladies. If I’m driving then everyone coming with will enjoy the ride. That’s how I roll.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate it. #AutismMom #SpecialNeedsFamily #Autism #AnAusomePlaceToBe

People with Disabilities Matter

I’m ending this past week watching one of my favorite movies, “The Joker”. Joaquin Phoenix did a phenomenal job portraying a human with a mental disability. My first born child was given a diagnosis of a mental retardation when she was around 7 years age. I’ve always been intrigued by the power that the mind has over the human body. There are some things that stuck out in my mind about that movie.

The scene when the joker was on the bus entertaining the young man with tricks and his guardian turned around cut off their interaction then gave him a look of shame, hurt my feelings. I’m disappointed with the people who don’t understand that people with different abilities are all around us. I haven’t met a perfect human. Aren’t all of our imperfections disabilities? I’m being extreme but extremities are real. Society is not helping to create perfect humans for others to be an example for.

I wished the jokers mother had been open and honest with him. As a parent of a child with a disability part of our responsibility is to get our children prepared for the real world. I understand parents that can’t deal with their own truth can’t offer their children anything different. I do help to shape the reality that my children live into. Not accepting the truth doesn’t help me or my children. Its better for me to be with my hurt feelings that way I can allow healing to happen for me and my family.

The last part of the movie when the Joker killed the talk show host was crazy. The Joker could have been viewed as out of control and mentally unstable. But he had gained some clarity and finally had some truth to go on. I got the lesson in the end. I’m giving my children the attention they need. Love can heal and help us get further than we were before. Gone are the days where humans lack full awareness. The life and interaction of people with disabilities will reflect the standard of relationships for humans. Whether you believe it or not People with Disabilities Matter.

#Autism#AutismFamily #AutismMom #SpecialNeedsFamily #DisabilitiesMatter